Oh, gadzooks! It's mid-March!
Back in December, you might remember me pestering you to vote in my AMPS Best Picture Nominee vote. It's an annual tradition I have where I pick out three fictional movies that I came up with in the past year, and have people vote on which they feel should join four other fictional movies to form a lineup of five fictional movies that will serve as the Best Picture nominees for the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS), one of three fake film awards I reward to my fictional movies. The poll was supposed to last for a week and then theoretically I would announce the winner along with the other four nominees. However, life got in the way and I missed the New Year's deadline. Then the time when I would pick out the winners for the AMPS awards came and went, and I still didn't write anything. Then the second of the fake film awards the Movie Magazine Awards came and went, and I still didn't write anything. And now it's almost time for the ultimate fake film awards, the L Awards.
It's not the first time I've held a vote for the final Best Picture nominee and then neglect to present the winner. Back in 2014 I held a nominating vote which Kids Court won, but I ended up not presenting the other nominees. That year I didn't feel like I had a solid grasp of what the other films were about. However, this year it's a completely different story. I had a basic plot for these films. I just dropped the ball and got lazy. Nevertheless, I figured I owe y'all the winner of this year's poll along with the other four nominees.
Better Education Through Re-Education
Rated R
183 minutes
In a distant future, the nation of Conway is ruled with an iron fist by a dystopian and authoritarian government, where all information is controlled by the government through the Department of Re-Education. Reggie Toy is a worker within the Department of Re-Education as he spends his days censoring the news for propaganda purposes while trying to remain as invisible as possible. All that is changed when his wife and daughter are denounced and disappeared. Reggie is able to clear suspicion and continue his work, but the disruption to his personal awoke an anger in him that was hidden away before. Using his knowledge of the underground networks, he connects with a group of revolutionaries and offers his services to take down the Department of Re-Education from within. However it doesn't take long before the superiors get suspicious.
Goodbye, Guileford Bay
Rated R
132 minutes
Unable to handle the rising costs or the stresses of modern living, a group of idealistic revolutionaries decide to leave everything behind and form a farming collective in an isolated seaside locale known as Guileford Bay. Their limited knowledge of farming and struggles in independent living become quickly obvious as they struggle to achieve self-sufficiency. Faced with the failure of their dream project, one of the leaders Keith Handle makes a proposal to contact a couple of corporate sponsors which can help subsidize their efforts. This proposal gains some support, but also horrifies the rest, primarily Victoria Song, who felt corporate support is the antithesis of everything they stood for. This disagreement forms a massive schism in the group, and one that would threaten to destroy the entire project.
The Ice
Rated R
121 minutes
Martin Briscoe and Joseph Walleye are star centers for the Teneford Hawkeyes a junior hockey team. They have pushed each other in a friendly rivalry that had been going on for years. As they embark on their final season before the professional draft, they try to shut out all of the rumors about their rising draft stock. That becomes more difficult as their games are well attended by professional scouts and hockey writers. And when both Martin and Joseph become romantically involved with Gretta Loop, the daughter of Joseph's new billet family and a fair hockey player in her own right, their rivalry becomes less friendly and more bitter. It eventually comes to the point that it threatens to tear their team apart, and can put their future in hockey into jeopardy.
A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Rated PG-13
308 minutes
This sprawling five-hour epic within the A Journey Through Chinese History series tracks the life and travels of the legendary Venetian explorer Marco Polo. Polo was the son of a merchant, and 17 he accompanied his father and uncle as they embarked on a journey along the Silk Road headed for the great Mongol Empire. Along the way they met with the newly elected Pope Gregory X who entrusted them with letters for the Mongol leaders. Upon arrival in Mongolia, the Great Kublai Khan was impressed with his foreign visitors, particularly with Marco, and appointed Marco as an emissary. Marco traveled throughout Asia, but as he left his adolescence behind and entered middle age, he and his family began pining for Venice. However, the elderly Khan was not too keen on letting his emissary leave.
Possessives
Rated R
147 minutes
Warren Edwards was a well-respected writer who had hit a massive writer's block after his latest book flopped. He decides to spend much of his time helping his wife Terry in the domestic violence shelter that she runs, hoping that it would help him with some inspiration. That inspiration would come in the worst possible way when the abusive ex-husband of one of the shelter's residents comes in and kills his ex-wife as well as Terry before turning the gun of himself. In the aftermath of this horrible tragedy, Warren begins railing against a society that appears to tolerate domestic violence and becomes an advocate for sensible gun control. His career takes off as a result of his advocacy, but at the same times it also makes him an enemy of some very important individuals.
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Well, here are the nominees. I had seen some comments in the poll that the reason they were not voting for My First Best Life was because it was a four and a half-hour epic, which opened the door for The Ice to come in and take the win. And then you knew I had to stick in a movie that was even longer. There is no poll for the winner this time because it's been so long that the winners were decided months ago. And here they all are
Best Makeup: A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Visual Effects: Maudlin
Best Sound Effects: The Competition
Best Sound: Orchard Row Lodge
Best Art Direction: A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Score: Still Happy
Best Cinematography: A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Editing: The Ice
Best Screenplay: Better Education Through Re-Education
Best Supporting Actress: Jill Polenta, The Ice
Best Supporting Actor: Hulagu Borjigin, A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Actress: Audrey Woodson, Goodbye, Guileford Bay
Best Actor: Matteo Valenza, A Journeny Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Director: Monkhbat Batbayar, Ke-Gang Lin & Guido Recchi, A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Best Picture: A Journey Through Chinese History: The Travels of Marco Polo
Yep, the five-hour epic won seven AMPS, including two acting honors, Best Director, and Best Picture. See y'all in six months!

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