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Sunday, December 24, 2023

AMPS 2023 Best Picture Nominees Vote

It's finally the Holiday season, and for most people it means giving gifts and spending time with family and all sorts of wholesome commercialism. For me, it means continuing a tradition that I have been carrying on for most than a quarter of a century: where I collect the fake movies that I had come up with over the year and handing out fake awards, starting with the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS). AMPS is the earliest of three different fake film awards that I have and the least formal, which means that I have some fun with it in that I allow for some audience participation. Since 2008 I have been picking out three titles for people to vote on to see which can join four other movies to complete the Best Picture lineup. So after the break I will be presenting this year's three titles along with a short summary (because I never have the actual creativity to turn these storylines into a workable script) and a SurveyMonkey poll where you can vote on the winner. 

In case my explanation is confusing, here are the previous finalist vote. It used to be on Facebook but then Facebook shut down the Notes, after which it migrated over to this blog.
2008 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022

Also here is another important disclaimer

YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THESE MOVIES
THESE ARE MOVIES THAT I MADE UP
NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
EXCEPT IN MY OWN IMAGINATION
DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM VOTING FOR ONE OF THEM

Sunday, June 04, 2023

Randy Johnson's 300th Win Day - 2023


Another year has come and gone, and we find ourselves arriving at June 4 of the year 2023. It is the 14th anniversary of Randy Johnson's 300th career win; the holiday I've been celebrating ever year on this date. Well, I personally spent the day hanging out at a My Little Pony convention in Chicago. It was great fun, but now I'm writing this in the O'Hare airport watching as my red eye flight out of Chicago get delayed already over ten hours out. Hooray! 

Meanwhile I still have the losing pitchers of Randy Johnson memorized, as I keep refreshing my memory by reciting the wins every time I harvest fruits in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. (I have 620 fruits to harvest, which is enough to go through each of Randy's wins twice through. I recite the final score the first time around then the date the second time around, while naming the losing pitcher every time.) My journey to get the autographs of the losing pitchers on their cards have definitely slowed, as private signings rarely include these losing pitchers and my autograph by mail attempts have hit dead ends. I did manage to get the autograph of Ricky Bones (win number 117 on July 18, 1997) in person at a Nationals vs. Mets game. I have also passed the halfway mark as I now have 164 signatures, although the last half is going to be so much harder. 

Thursday, February 09, 2023

Ke Huy Quan's The Big Eunuch and The Little Carpenter: A Review


So the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once opened this past year to great critical and box office success, receiving rave reviews for its story, its visual design, and more importantly the acting performances. Of note Ke Huy Quan received plenty of praise for his multi-layered role as Waymond Wang, the beleaguered husband of Michelle Yeoh's Evelyn. It was a long road back for Quan, who was once upon a time a child star noted in films like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) and The Goonies (1985). He disappeared from film for well over 20 years in the mid-90s, transitioning more towards work behind the camera, serving as stunt coordinator and later assistant director. He gave several interviews about his circuitous back to acting, many of which referred to a 1993 Taiwan costume drama with the amusing title of The Big Eunuch and the Little Carpenter.

Now, my parents are from Taiwan, and throughout most of my childhood in the 1990s we received satellite television, and one of the staples of our television viewing are the TV dramas, self-contained series that can extend anywhere from 20 episodes all the way to over 60. I'd certainly remember a show with the title The Big Eunuch and the Little Carpenter, but I had no memory of it, and as it turns out neither did my parents. Perhaps it never did air in the United States. I decided to do a search on Google, and found some bare-bones information with its Chinese title 大太監與小木匠. More significantly, the series was uploaded in its entirety by the Taiwan TeleVision (TTV) official channel, along with several of their great television drama, such as my childhood favorite Heroic Youth. (英雄少年)

 I pulled up the first episode, and it became evident pretty quickly why the series never made it to the United States. The show opens to a bunch of naked boys crowding a square. Yes, I suppose the boys were all eunuchs and since all eunuchs are by definition castrated they would have no external genitalia. Yet it's still a bunch of naked boys crowding a square. And because this is the first shot of the opening credits, every single episode opens with a shot of a bunch of naked boys crowding a square. And people thought the title was provocative. Yet this aired every weeknight at 8pm on TTV for 40 days from November 1993 to January 1994.

Nevertheless, I decided to watch the rest of the first episode. It's a fairly standard fare where it introduces the characters and the setting, but nothing really stood out for me. I watched about two more episodes and didn't really care for it so I shelved the show for a time. However, as Quan began capturing one critics awards after another, his chances of Oscar glory rose. (And in fact he did wind up with not only an Oscar nomination but also the Oscar victory). And since I can't think of any other Oscar nominated actor who had starred in a Taiwan television drama, I decided to give the rest of the show a chance. And now that I've finished all 40 episodes, I've decided to write perhaps the first English review of The Big Eunuch and the Little Carpenter

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

AMPS 2022 - Winners

 


Well, we've finally come to the end of a long road. The fictional Awards of Motion Picture Services (AMPS) had happened on the night of January 15 in my fictional country of L World. It ends a journey that had started with my Best Picture Nominee vote that was posted three weeks ago and continued through to the Best Picture nominee announcement a little more than a week after that. In reality I had been coming up with these fake movies since January of 2022, not to mention one that had been planned for a couple of years now. While this is only the first of the three fake film awards for L World, AMPS has been the set of awards that had been made the most public, with me announcing the winners dating all the way back to 2000 (including 2020 and 2021 that was included in the aforementioned Best Picture Nominee vote.) I'm not sure if anybody really cares that much, but I might as well present the AMPS winners for this past year 2022. I'll only be listing the films for the technical awards while the acting and directing winners would be named.

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

AMPS 2022 - Best Picture Nominees


Well, it's past the New Year's, which means it's now officially 2023. It also means that 2022 is over, and we can fully look back at everything that had happened in the past year. Which in this case means we can look at the films that I made up that were deemed worthy of competing for the top prize in one of my fictional film awards, in this case the Awards for Motion Picture Services (or AMPS for short)

Last week I had picked out three finalists for a vote, the winner of which would take the final slot among the Best Picture nominees. And I want to thank you all that had voted in the poll. This is my 13th year of running these polls, and this was by far the most number of responses that I had in any of them. Of course, part of that was the fact that for most of the vote there were two films that were in a direct tie, which led me to seek out additional voters to break the tie. In the end there was one film that came out on top by just one vote, and that film will join the four other pre-determined films as the Best Picture nominees for the AMPS ceremony honoring the films of 2022, which will be presented after the break.

But first...here are the previous nominees that I had presented. (I skipped 2009-2010, 2014, and 2018),
2008 2011 2012 2013 2015 2016 2017 2019 2020 2021