Well, we're finally near the end of 2020. That's probably a cause for celebration for most of you, but it just means it's time for me to focus on my fake film awards. That's right, for those of you that don't know, I've been coming up with fake films and awarding them with fake awards since 1998, because I've got nothing better to do. For the past decade or so I've been having my friends participate through polls done on Facebook notes. Alas, Facebook has shut down their notes, which means I have to migrate to my blog. However, this might not be a bad thing after all. With Facebook notes I was limited to just my Facebook friends, and they have to vote by leaving comments. However, with the vote being held on my blog, it is available to anybody that has to my blog, which could be the entire internet! And I could create a poll in something like SurveyMonkey and embed the poll on this page, so you can just read the choices, click on your pick and go on with your day*. I can get something that far dwarf the 1-5 votes that I normally get on these things. This is getting exciting.
*While comments are not necessary, I would certainly welcome any comments about the films or about how bloody crazy I am.
Nevertheless, as I had mentioned this is a poll to select the fifth nominee for Best Picture in one of my three film awards: the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS). (Yes, I have more than one of these awards). I have already selected four pictures out of the many that I've come up with throughout the year that would get Best Picture nominations. Then I have selected three more that would be up for this vote, and the winner will go down as the fifth Best Picture nomination. I will be presenting the three candidate films below the break. I am not going to tell you what criteria to direct your vote there really is no criteria. Just vote for what you think should be the final nominee.
If this all seem confusing to you, here are the votes from previous years: 2008 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019
Before I get to the candidate films here is one final announcement
OF COURSE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OF THESE MOVIES
THESE MOVIES ARE MOVIES I MADE UP
NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
EXCEPT IN MY OWN IMAGINATION
DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM VOTING FOR ONE OF THEM
Abel the Able-Bodied Rabbit in Executive Hijinks
Rated PG-13
83 minutes
This animated satire set in a world populated by anthropomorphic animals tell the tale of Abel the Rabbit. Abel is a hard-working chap stuck in a thankless low-level office position with no hope of advancement. He takes out his anger and frustration with his circumstances by hitting the gym every day, and over the course of several years he has built up a solid physique. One night after a workout he comes across and stops a potential mugging of a random stranger. As it turns out the raccoon Abel saved was the CEO of his company, and he is rewarded with a promotion into the management ranks with the . As Abel tries to get accustomed to his new surroundings, he witnesses the shady dealings and nepotism that goes on behind closed doors, all while suffering the jealousy and ostracism from his former friends. As he feels despair rising up deep within his soul, he know the only way out of this mess is to fight back.
The Countess of Monte Carlo
Rated R
168 minutes
This modernized and gender-bending retelling of the classic Alexandre Dumas novel tells the story of Diane Edmundson, an innocent freshman at the prestigious Monte Carlo High School on a volleyball scholarship. She impresses at tryouts and wins a spot on the varsity team, incurring the jealousy of the wealthy Dana Barones, a fellow freshman also hoping to make varsity. She plots with a classmate Fernanda Mercedes to frame Diane for a burglary at a local boutique. The plot is successful thanks to the crooked prosecutor Gina Villenas, and Diane is sentenced to a juvenile delinquency center, where she rooms with Farah Abbott, an expert hacker and counterfeiter. Touched by her story, Farah takes Diane under her wings and teaches her the black market skills. When Farah is mortally injured in a riot, she tells Diane about her secret savings account in her hometown of Paris, Texas. Once Diane is released she travels to Paris and uses the funds and skills acquired from Farah to fashion a new identity, Jill Countess, which she uses to return to Monte Carlo High where she would exact revenge on those that had wronged her.
A Journey Through Chinese History: The Treaty of Chuanyuan
Rated R
224 minutes
The epic A Journey Through Chinese History series continues with the turbulent early years of the Song dynasty. The new dynasty spent their early years taking back the land that had splintered off following the fall of the Tang dynasty. Soon their only remaining target was the Sixteen Prefectures including Yan and Yun, which were all under the rule of the Liao dynasty, made up of the nomatic Khitan people. An initial military invasion by the Song was soundly thwarted. Two years later, the death of the Liao Emperor Jinzong led to the installation of his pre-teen son to the throne as Emperor Shenzhong.. Song Emperor Taizong attempted to take advantage of the chaotic situation with a large-scale invasion, but that ended in defeat. With Taizong's death, the Liao forces began periodic invasions into Song territory, although the Song dynasty were able to repel the armies until uneasy peace was negotiated. When Liao's Shenzhong reached adulthood, he personally led his army all the way to the city of Chuanyuan, just across the river from the Song capital. However, Song's Emperor Zhenzhong was ready with his own army. As the bloody battle raged on, both leaders knew that something had to be done to end the conflict.
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Well, there you are, the three films up for the final Best Picture spot. As I had said before, none of these films are real, but I hope they are interesting enough to spark your interest. And once again, I will leave it to your judgment as to which film deserves your vote. The poll is below. Vote wisely.
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