It's finally the Holiday season, and for most people it means giving gifts and spending time with family and all sorts of wholesome commercialism. For me, it means continuing a tradition that I have been carrying on for most than a quarter of a century: where I collect the fake movies that I had come up with over the year and handing out fake awards, starting with the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS). AMPS is the earliest of three different fake film awards that I have and the least formal, which means that I have some fun with it in that I allow for some audience participation. Since 2008 I have been picking out three titles for people to vote on to see which can join four other movies to complete the Best Picture lineup. So after the break I will be presenting this year's three titles along with a short summary (because I never have the actual creativity to turn these storylines into a workable script) and a SurveyMonkey poll where you can vote on the winner.
In case my explanation is confusing, here are the previous finalist vote. It used to be on Facebook but then Facebook shut down the Notes, after which it migrated over to this blog.
2008 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022
Also here is another important disclaimer
THESE ARE MOVIES THAT I MADE UP
NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
EXCEPT IN MY OWN IMAGINATION
DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM VOTING FOR ONE OF THEM
Escapar de la Ciudad
Rated R
154 minutes
This Spanish language romantic thriller tells the story of Anna, an American student studying abroad in an unnamed Latin American country. Initially struggling to adjust to the culture shock, she meets Carlos, a fútbol star who helps her get acclimated. They develop a friendship that seem to be blossoming into something else, but the idyllic days quickly becomes a struggle for survival as a military junta overthrows the government in a violent coup. The new government opposes American collaboration and slaughters any American expatriates the army can capture. With the American embassy ransacked Carlos must help Anna escape from the capital city and cross the border. However, Carlos's celebrity from being a nationally recognized athlete makes this mission that much more difficult.
The Princess and the Page
Rated PG-13
217 minutes
Samantha Schmidt, the celebrated (and of course fake) director of Lost Autumn and The Countess of Monte Carlo comes with her most ambitious film yet, a medieval epic exploring class differences and race relations. Ashley is a princess in a small kingdom, and is subject to the mind-numbing education that is afforded to medieval nobility, including language courses and courses on court decorum. Her life changes when she sees a mulatto page named Huey. She seduces him, and while he initially resists her advances, knowing the potential dangers of this forbidden dalliance. She persists and he eventually gives in, beginning a decades-long affair that would ultimately change the both of them. Things come to a head when her father the king dies setting off a succession crisis that threatens the lives of both Princess Ashley and Huey.
Sins of the Fathers
Rated R
127 minutes
Sins of the Fathers is a darkly comic satire exploring the inefficiencies of government bureaucracy and the inherent paradoxes of child protection. Paul and Walter are best friends each going through divorces. They had partial custody of their children, at least they did until Paul's son was taken away because he showed up to school with unexplained bruising, and Walter's daughter was also removed after she told her teacher about being touched. After protesting their innocence fails to gain any sympathy from the judge, they take the remediation steps laid out by the child protective services. Yet any sort of progress they make are paired by multiple steps back, especially as they find out what factors led to the initial complaints. Things get even more dire when they find out their children are actually getting severely abused in their current home situations.
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There you go. These are the three films for 2023. Now that you have read the basic plot summary, your job is to select the one you feel deserves the final Best Picture spot. I won't tell you what standards to vote on, that would be entirely up to you. I do have the second question where you can explain your standards or write anything you want to say about the movies. I will keep the poll open until the New Year's, after which I'll reveal the winner by listing all five nominees!
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