Wednesday, January 05, 2022

AMPS 2021: Best Picture Nominees


So back on Christmas I had posted the annual vote for the final Best Picture nominee in the first of my three fake movies awards: the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS). Thanks to all seven of you that decided to humor me in placing your vote, but one film has surfaced as the winner and has been elevated to the fifth and final Best Picture nominee. The full list shall be presented now after the break.

Last year I had done something unprecedented and had y'all vote on the winner. That was a fun little experiment, but there won't be a repeat this year. Feel free to post what you feel should be the winner in the comments below.

Meanwhile, here are the previous years where I posted nominees.
2008, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2019, 2020

A Journey Through Chinese History: The Xining War (Xi Ning Zhan Zhen)
Rated R
188 minutes

Following the signing of the Chuanyan Treaty (as depicted in the film A Journey Through Chinese History: Treaty of Chuanyuan), the Song dynasty enjoyed several decades of peace. During this time there was a flourishing of the arts, and the adaptation of socioeconomic reforms known as the New Policies by Emperor Shenzhong based on the recommendations of his chancellor Wang Anshi. However, the reforms were opposed by Wang's political rival Sima Guang. Moreover, they affected the cost of tribute items offered to the Lý dynasty in the Kingdom of Đại Việt to the South. The ruling parties of Đại Việt attempted to resolve the changes diplomatically, but they were rebuffed especially after they requested the extradition of a former chieftain who defected to the Song. Shortly after that, the Đại Việt launched a military attack on Song territory, eventually capturing the city of Yongzhou in 1076. Shenzhong launched a counterattack, but he also must deal with the continued bickering between Wang and Sima, the former of which had become much more aggressive in the implementation of his reforms. 


The Kings of the Road
Rated R
238 minutes

This epic crime saga focuses its attention on the fractured friendships between two motorcycle gangs. In 1984, the Dirt Devils led by Carter Smith prepared for its winner-take-all duel to the death against their rivals El Diablos Locos led by Juan Francisco. Thirty years earlier, Smith and Francisco were young bikers getting their start in the Dirt Devils along with their friends Eddie Francis and Jay Smyth. They overcame the initial hazing and began rising up in the ranks as they partake in battles against other gangs. However, the creation of El Diablos Locos in 1965 led to a rift between Francisco and the other members of the Dirt Devils given his Hispanic lineage. This rift would deepen when Eddie is killed in a raid in 1969. Forced to choose between his longtime brethren and his countrymen, he picked the latter and defected to El Diablos Locos. He overcame the initial unease from the other members to win their trust by killing Jay, and soon took over as leader, while Carter did the same with the Dirt Devils. They would soon come head to head with a battle that was 30 years in the making.


Survival of the Fittest Ultimate
Rated R
245 minutes

Following the events of Survival of the Fittest for Wii U, the underground Super Smash Bros. rings were abolished, and an official tournament group was organized, led by a board of directors that include Josh and the heroes of previous Survival of the Fittest films. However, in the first tournament run by this new organization, all of the elite Smash Bros. players have mysteriously disappeared, leading to an easy victory by Henry, a young player that mains Kirby. Over the next few weeks, future tournaments are canceled while Henry receives invitations to an underground ring that have sprung up in the tournaments' absence. While he initially basks in his success, he eventually realizes something is amiss, especially after having to execute his first opponent. He recruits a couple of other players who have their own suspicions, and through his investigation he finds out that the board of directors and other elite players have been kidnapped by a group that is now running the underground network. He resolves to fight back, but finds that nobody else has that resolve. And he finds that it is much harder to do so when his only skill is being good at Super Smash Bros.


Wayside School: The Cloud of Doom
Rated PG
111 minutes

Back in 1996 I had come up with a fictional adaptation of the "Wayside School" book series by Louis Sachar. Wayside School was one of the first fictional movies I had come up with, and as such it became a box office smash hit while sweeping the awards and entering the cultural zeitgeist in my fictional country of L World. (Yes, I was so creative when I was 11.) 25 years later, Mrs. Jewls and her class are back for another set of zany stories that mixes the mundane with fantasy. Mrs. Jewls has the class collect a million nail clippings while she struggles with her students losing their precious paper clips. Kathy has her oppositosis cured by Dr. Pickle yet this confounds everybody around her. Jason has to read a 999-page book in an attempt to outdo his rival Allison. Mac and the rest of the class has to solve the mystery of the Closet that Isn't There. Mr. Kidswatter tries to prove he's the Best Principal Ever!!! by picking a student to ring the gong to mark the end of the school day, and for some reason he has picked Stephen. The Unbreakables have to put their friendship to The Ultimate Test. And all the while a Cloud of Doom churns above them, ready to rain down unspeakable horrors on the school that was built sideways. 


We Cannot Live Without the Planet Pluto
Rated PG-13
123 minutes

In the distant future, mankind has established a space station on the dwarf planet Pluto for easier exploration of the outer reaches of the solar system including the Kuiper Belt and the Oort Cloud. However, while some resources were able to grow on Pluto, additional resources must be delivered from Earth in perilous missions that takes 10 years of one-way travel. 18-year-old Claude Joseph is selected for one of these missions, which will ultimately take him 30 years given the ten years of service he would have to partake in the Plutonian space station. As he bids farewell to his loved ones, his girlfriend Rose promises to wait for him. As the mission progresses, Claude struggles with the social isolation on the journey while Rose struggles with her family's increasing pressure in having her find another beau, not to mention the increasing time between communication. All the while there is increasing debate over Pluto's planetary status, having been demoted to dwarf planet in 2006 due to its inability to clear mass around its orbit. 

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Anyways, here are the five nominees. There's no vote this year, but I hope you will humor me by posting what you think should win.

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