Merry Christmas everyone, and for us it means it's time to focus on...Fake Film Awards! That's right, it's the time of year when I come and look over the movies I've come up with over the year and select a few of them to compete for awards glory in one of my three set of fake awards. For the past several years I've allowed people to vote for the fifth and final Best Picture nominee in the first of these awards, the Awards for Motion Picture Services (or AMPS for short.) I've already come up with four films, and then here are three more films that everyone here can vote on to take the final spot. I'll introduce the candidate films with a short summary, and then comes the poll where you can pick one of the three films, and leave comments about the films.
And in case you are curious, here are polls for previous years: 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2008
And here comes our annual disclaimer.
YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THESE MVIES
THESE MOVIES ARE MOVIES I'VE MADE UP
NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
EXCEPT IN MY OWN IMAGIANTION
DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM VOTING FOR ONE OF THEM
Anyways, now that I got that out of the way, the movies will be after the break.
308 Ways to Die on March 8
Rated R
167 minutes
March 8 is a special day for Zach Miles, a young ad executive who is planning on proposing with his longtime fiancée Jenny that night. However, he is killed in a tragic car accident on his way to work. He finds himself waking up again on that morning with memories of his untimely death and takes the train, but dies when the train derails. He eventually comes to realize that he is stuck in a time loop, one that ends with him dying in increasingly bizarre fashion. As the deaths keep piling up, he tries to find somebody to help him get out of the time loop, but finds that nobody else has memories of his numerous deaths. Can he figure out the puzzle before he dies for the final time?
At Ivan Barbossa's
Rated R
163 minutes
Teddy Campbell is a hockey fan and a big fan of the Heritz Blues, especially their star player Ivan Barbossa. He runs into Barbossa in a bar one night after a game, and manages to start a conversation with the superstar. He finds that Barbossa enjoys his company, and quickly finds himself in Barbossa's inner circle. Things seem to be going well until Barbossa asks for a small favor, to bring a parcel across the country to an unknown destination. He finds out later he had helped Barbossa smuggle illegal tranquilizers. Hoping to remain in Barbossa's good graces he volunteers for more smuggling missions, but once he gets caught he has to determine whether to give up Barbossa or take all the heat himself.
We Cannot Live Without the Planet Pluto
Rated PG-13
123 minutes
In the distant future, mankind has established a space station on the dwarf planet Pluto for easier exploration of the outer reaches of the solar system. 18 year old Claude Joseph is selected for a mission to Pluto that would take him away from Earth for 30 years. including ten years of one-way travel. His girlfriend Rose promises to wait for him. As the mission progresses, the two struggle with the increasing time between communication as well as the social isolation on the journey and the increasing external pressure from Rose's parents to find another beau. All the while there is continued debate over Pluto's planetary status.
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Well there you are, the three films up for the final Best Picture spot. As I said before, none of these films are real, but I hope they are interesting enough to spark your interest. And once again, I will leave it to your judgment as to which film deserves your vote.
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