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Wednesday, December 30, 2020

AMPS 2020 Best Picture Nominees

Well, it's about the end of the year, and that means it's about time to announce the results of the AMPS Best Picture nominee votes. Thank you to all that had voted in the preliminary vote. I had more votes than ever before. It was a pretty close match, but in the end only one film came out on top, and the winner joins the four other films that I had pre-selected for spots. Each of them will be introduced after the break.

Normally whenever I present the nominees it's just for your edification, and I had a winner already pre-selected Big Brother-style. HOWEVER, this year will be different. I haven't spent all that much time thinking about these movies, and I don't have one that I am particularly attached to. So that means I will open the vote up to all of you! That's right, you can help select the potential Best Picture winner in the Awards for Motion Picture Services (AMPS) of 2020! The process will be the exact same as before. I will present the five nominated films, and at the end there will be a poll that will allow you to pick a winner. Since these films are fake and all you have are my (poorly-written) summaries, there really is no criteria for how you should vote. 

And just in case you're wondering, here are the nominees from previous years
2008, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2019

Yes, back in 2014 and 2018 I didn't care enough about the films so never bothered to present all the nominees. This year could have been the same, except I am giving y'all this wonderful opportunity to play an even bigger role in my fake film awards.

And once again the disclaimer

OF COURSE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OF THESE MOVIES
THESE MOVIES ARE MOVIES I MADE UP
NOBODY HAS SEEN THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
EXCEPT IN MY OWN IMAGINATION
DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM VOTING FOR ONE OF THEM

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Abel the Able-Bodied Rabbit in Executive Hijinks
Rated PG-13, 83 minutes

This animated satire set in a world populated by anthropomorphic animals tells the tale of Abel the Rabbit, a hard-working chap stuck in a thankless low-level office position with no hope of advancement. He takes his anger and frustration with his circumstances out by hitting the gym every day, and over the years he had built up a solid physique. One night after a workout he comes across and stops a mugging of a random stranger. As it turns out the raccoon Abel saved was the CEO of his company, who rewards Abel with a promotion into the management ranks. with the privileges and responsibilities that come with it. As Abel tries to get accustomed to his new surroundings, he bears witness to the shady dealings and nepotism that goes on behind closed doors, all while feeling the jealousy and ostracism from his former friends. As despair rises deep within his soul, Abel realizes that the only way he can survive is by fighting back.


Action
Rated R, 133 minutes

Director Max Snow returns to his seminal series about filmmaking 20 years after his masterpiece Comedy and 17 years after the sequel Drama. With film studios forcing to downsize due to the economic downturn, misanthropic filmmakers and former couple Jerry and Karen are forced to turn to each other in order to remain within the film industries. They bring back the timid Joe, the boisterous Nancy and the suave Rick to make one more independent film that they hope would bring them back to good graces with the established studios. Jerry buys the rights to The Murder Doves, an unproduced screenplay by neophyte scriptwriter Henry Terry, and the group sets off to make an action film. However, the production was beset by angry investors as well as the nosy Terry along with their respective mob connections. Soon the crew find themselves in an explosive situation more action-packed than the film they are trying to finish, but they are not ready to give up on their filmmaking dreams.


Darlene's Revenge
Rated R, 149 minutes

Legendary director Barry Talvend (Photon, Crisis at Kingdom Kong) announced his retirement during the production this sci-fi epic. In a futuristic world where capitalism has gone awry, the ultra-rich are served by clones of generations of servants, all of whom carry the memories of the clones that came before. One of these servant girls, Darlene, is brutally raped by her master. This reignites the memory of a similar trauma that happened hundreds of years in the past, and awakens her to the horrors of the world around her. She murders her master and escapes into the seedy underworld where the rest of the masses live. She is infuriated by the conditions she sees around her, and does her best to rally them into action, but find them too beaten down by their helplessness to take up arms. She finds only an old man who teaches her how to dig into the recesses of her memory to gain the abilities to exact her revenge against the ruling class, but warns her about the damaging nature of these memories. Darlene must find the balance as she starts her quest for revenge.


Gridiron Gridlocked
Rated R, 216 minutes

This epic sports film tells the story of the fictional Newark Bulls, a struggling football team whose owners have already agreed to fold at the end of the season to make way for an expansion team in a much larger market. Head coach David Tackley is tasked to lead his team filled with veteran castoffs such as quarterback Josh Cowid and other players brought in by general manager Barry Newell,  including defensive tackle Heath Terrell who had a long-running rivalry with Cowid while as a member of the Poplar Giants, the most successful team in the league. The initial tension the two longtime rivals is eased as the team coalesces its anger  and fury towards the owner's box. Between the vicious practices and the off-day carousing, the Bulls become a surprising force to be reckoned with within the league. Yet with the hefty expansion fee on the horizon, no amount of success would change the Bulls' fate. As the Bulls heads towards the end of the season, they plan on making this a year to remember.


Silvermore
Rated R, 158 minutes

Matthew Silvermore is a high school senior that seem to have everything. He is the starting quarterback for a wildly successful football on its way to the state finals, with a full scholarship to a major university waiting for him upon graduation. He has the respect of the entire student body, who voted him prom king, and he is dating the head cheerleader. Yet in spite of all of his success, Silvermore holds a deep, dark secret inside him, which is that he suffers from severe depression and self doubt. The depression comes to a head when his team is upset in the finals after he fumbles following a sack. As everybody around him tries to remind him about everything he has going for him, he winds up sinking deeper in his depression, leading to a suicide attempt. He ends up finding an ally in the most unexpected of places, in his gruff football coach aptly named Coach Guff, who was fighting his own battle with depression. Together they work towards Matthew's recovery, to not let his illness define him.

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There you go, five films (all fictional), five choices for Best Picture. I feel like these movies encompass a fairly wide range of genres. Abel the Able-Bodied Rabbit in Executive Hijinks (the winner of the preliminary vote) is your animated dark comedy. Action is clearly an action film, but one with a strong comic feel. Darlene's Revenge is your cyberpunk sci-fi action film. Gridiron Gridlocked is a football epic, but one that I feel has a comic touch. Silvermore is also somewhat of a football film, but it is more of a heavy-hitting drama dealing with men breaking through the toxic masculinity attached to football players in order to understand their mental health. 

Five choices, there can be only one winner

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